Addition to the templateMs. Ricci articulates a trend I have seen across my classes, writing, “Most students do not do anything more than the sentences laid out for them on the template” (Artifact #17). Students who write extensively for assignments without templates tend to only fulfill the bare minimum when a template is provided. Exceptions to this exist in areas of the template where the formula is freer and the length unspecific. In these areas, writing ranges from marginal to expansive.
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Conclusion template for the feminist perspective essay
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In Ariel’s final essay for the feminist perspective unit (Artifact #7.1), she adequately completes the requirements of the template, yet her conclusion stands out, especially compared to her introduction. This is because rather than writing a string of disconnected sentences that fit the prompts in the template (as the introduction seemed to do), she seems to more holistically develop a thought to conclusion. The conclusion template (above, right) specified that students must restate their thesis in a new way, evaluate the success of the author’s portrayal of a feminist Little Red Riding Hood, and comment on the broader implications of the topic. Ariel writes more than most students interpreted to be the minimal length in this section. The flow of her thoughts from one sentence to the next implies that she had an idea of what she wanted to write and she continued writing until she had expressed her thoughts:
There was a girl named LRRH who desired independence but it’s hard for her to achieve that desire because of what it takes to live in a male dominated society but she achieves it by almost going against the stereotypical roles. Carter did an amazing job viewing girls as not only smarter but more independent then just being dumb and stupid. I notice that she says how the
girl knew things such as she “she knew the worst wolves are hairy on the inside…she knew she was nobody’s meat”. The girl is able to stand her ground without getting protection within this patriarchy society. This short story doesn’t shows that girl are the weaker gender. Red is get independence by doing things on her own such as when she went into the woods alone even though it’s dangerous. But the question is why it is that girls have to do such much in order to fit into a society but what does boy have to do? Sit around and watch girls do all the housework and they do nothing. These issues are surfacing around and it puts pressure into society as to which gender is better when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and taking care of others. It makes each other genders go against one another when they both supposed to be equal to one another. (Artifact #7.1) do such much in order to
Compare Ariel's conclusion to Rae's, who writes the absolute minimum according the the template (consistent with most essays for this assignment):
Carters little red riding hood character wants respect in others eyes, since the stereotypical role ofsociety is at odds with her innocent ways she treats a werewolf as an equal and achieves herdesire by getting respect in the werewolf eyes. Carter is wonderful at creating feminist version of Little Red Riding Hood. Since Carters Little Red Riding Hood has respect in the werewolf eyes,How does her family see her different in the stereotypical roles of society, are they at odds? (Artifact #7.10)
The template prompted students to evaluate the author's success at creating a feminist version of the story; in response, Rae 'tagged' this sentence, repeating and rephrasing it to include the word "wonderful" but failing to explain what this might mean or how she is evaluating the story. Objectively, both paragraphs are unpolished and riddled with grammatical and stylistic errors. However, Ariel's conclusion shows that the story has sparked connections in her mind between the narrative, the feminist perspective, and Ariel's experience in society. More writing does not mean better writing, and I am a proponent of clear, spare prose. Yet I also encourage students to let the writing flow in their rough draft and then cut it down to the essential content. Rae has not demonstrated that she did the extra step of working through an understanding of the story first, and so she "fills in the blanks" of the template. Revision, for her, would really need to involve further writing to explain how, why, and so what. For Ariel, revision might help her more clearly delve into the specifics of her burgeoning realization of the gender divide, as exposed by the story.
In my undergraduate classes, I taught in a seminar-style around a large table, where we engaged in extensive discussion of a text before writing. While writing, we would workshop essays as a class. I also used peer editing as a way to inspire students with each other's work and share ideas about how to develop their writing. I did not see any useful models of either discussion or peer review this year, and I am left wondering how best to integrate these methods into my teaching in the future with large class sizes of a wide range of abilities. I understand how these methods could be wasteful, misleading, or frustrating in such a class, which is the reasoning I was given by my classroom mentors as to why these methods were not used. However, I think that they are valuable and integral to the essay writing process and I hope to find ways to use them going forward in my own classroom.
In my undergraduate classes, I taught in a seminar-style around a large table, where we engaged in extensive discussion of a text before writing. While writing, we would workshop essays as a class. I also used peer editing as a way to inspire students with each other's work and share ideas about how to develop their writing. I did not see any useful models of either discussion or peer review this year, and I am left wondering how best to integrate these methods into my teaching in the future with large class sizes of a wide range of abilities. I understand how these methods could be wasteful, misleading, or frustrating in such a class, which is the reasoning I was given by my classroom mentors as to why these methods were not used. However, I think that they are valuable and integral to the essay writing process and I hope to find ways to use them going forward in my own classroom.